Strange Confessions: Car Windows

World Become Spectacle

World become spectacle,
souls become dust.
Reason turns union to division,
curse turns from rarity to norm.
What body must be offered,
only to be torn apart?
What command from Rome,
must be shouted down by masses?
We tear skin from muscle,
shred muscle from bone.
In our ignorance we eat each other,
gleefully recorded for posterity.
Furiously typed retorts, hope for congrats,
glad hands slap backs, tested for tenderness.
When will those who stand… together(?),
turn on friend like foe?
Offer up yourself in this game society created,
only so teeth would gnash in disdain and greed.
“Another one has ceased to be!”
shouted from corner and web.
Until there is no one left,
to stand beside… triumphantly?

The Cynical Diaries: The First Episode

I wrote the following this morning on that one site in response to a series of articles that have blown-up on facebook shares recently:

“A: Nobody finds themselves just driving through West Plains, unless you’re in Springfield going to Memphis, which never happens by the way.
2: If you are a celebrity in America, and you are interacting with others, someone is going to recognize you. I don’t care where you are.
C: Being a celebrity will never make you remember a specific street name in an off-hand remark, especially in the way locals say it.
D: They bought him a burger? And, and, he says it was “freakin” delicious? Here, in West Plains? This part was the kicker, along with the mention of a street name. Nobody would recall the kindness of strangers then say the meal was great in some non- specific restaurant. If he remembers the name of a street but not the name of the restaurant where he got the most generic food that people can’t track down, then it’s a lie.
We all joke about how If it is on the internet, then it must be true, then we read some feel good article about celebrity praising our town with indicators all over it that it was fake… There ought to be some sort of seminar to recognize internet fakery. Maybe I’ll help you out with that, consider this your first lesson.“

It made me think that I want to continue in this trend of truth exposed in a cynical manner I most enjoy. So here we are. And, a great benefit for me is to continue posting memes that I have neglected for a while. You remember my “Memes that make me go, ‘Huh?'” don’t you? Well, we’ll be continuing that in my most snarky/cynical way and post stuff that I think everyone should be naturally aware of… if they were as cynical as I. The facebook page is located right here, if you want to follow. Either way, if I post here, I will share there and vice versa.

Let’s continue with some memes I’ve been saving.

As with many of the memes I’ve done in the past, I can’t specifically recall the reason I saved them, and that is so true with this one. It seems like a good saying and I might have downloaded it for a paper or something… if I was into that. Perhaps it was my irony detector of the person saying this. Although, all I really know of Rick Warren is that he wrote a book so many churches use for a summer study, and I am leery of all trends anyway. This meme is actually really good. Very telling and so true of what is going on in the interwebs today.

This stupid little meme follows the genre of facebook posts that feed into your ego… in picture form… with jerkman pointing at me. Did that guys bracelets get all tangled up in foreground girl’s hair and he so nonchalantly yanked it from her head in order to gesticulate at us. How thoughtless of him. No wonder his sister is so glarefully ignoring his arrogance.

You must be stupid. ‘Cause you ain’t no genius that’s fer sure. Of course if you shared without getting it, there is a special place in hell for you. I didn’t get it either. But, I’m less compelled than some I suppose, to prove my genius to my facebook friends. Hmm… I wonder why I saved this one, seeing how it is so much like so much other carp on that one site. Must’ve had something to do with that joint smoking bearded grasshopper at the top of the meme though.

 

Strange Dreams: Old Women and Dragons

The old woman was considered crazy by the townsfolk. She wandered around the village muttering the same old mutterings about dragons and loss and fear and hope, and destiny. Her small twisted frame seemed to close in on itself. Most people avoided her, but Muriel was different. She listened. She cared. She was older now, but still young enough that everyone thought she might be a little too influenced by the old woman. One thing Muriel did not do was assume anything about anyone. Everyone else thought the old woman was crazy, but Muriel knew that the old woman was young once and grew to who she is now. There might be things in her past that made her the way she is. She couldn’t have been a young toddler, wandering her parent’s home muttering the same mutterings she does now. Something changed fundamentally within the old woman at some point in her life that made her not care what people thought and have such a focus on “fantasy” that she is who she is. So Muriel befriended the old woman. She’d visit her every chance she got, apart from her chores and her studies, which wasn’t very often. The old woman resided in an alley, which was made comfortably enough because of some lumber that a kind traveler built for her some years ago. It had walls and a sturdy yet stout roof. There was always a fire in a metal barrel. It was small but provided enough heat and warmth to cook her mystery victuals and keep her comfortable in the cold of winter. Muriel would come over with tea and a few carrots or onions, and a small squab. She would prepare a meal for the old woman as her mutterings grew quiet when she watched Muriel cook. Then Muriel would lay out the feast and tell the old woman about her week. The old woman would eat slowly, looking up into Muriel’s eyes once in a while with a huge grin on her face. Sometimes she would chuckle at a rare bit of comic life Muriel would share as a printer’s daughter. Muriel would ask the old woman questions, trying to find out about the old woman’s previous life, but was always met with mutterings. She could not glean anything from the visits except for the fact that the woman enjoyed eating and maintained some sense of humor.

One day the townsfolk were all agog at some occurrence near where Muriel’s family lived. Some light appeared in the sky for a night and steadily grew brighter. In the morning it was bright enough that the people saw it hurtling down, crashing near the family property of Muriel’s family. None would come near because of the reputation of Muriel’s father. He would laugh and sing nonsensical lyrics to music only he could hear as he worked or came into town. The townsfolk considered him just as strange as the old woman, yet still of a mind that you could deal with, for the few moments you had to. The town was dreary. It was always raining, it seemed, and cheerfulness was a commodity rarely traded. Muriel’s father’s inexplicable joy was to be avoided.

The old woman appeared from her alley on the morning of the occurrence and stood on the street dancing and twirling her heavy canvas skirting. The people soon lost interest in the light that appeared the night before, because if it was that the old woman began dancing in conjunction with the occurrence, nothing of interest could come of it. They had lost their sense of curiosity, if it ever was there. The rains come and wash it all away.

Muriel could not be found where her father expected to find her. He began searching the grounds. Eventually he found her in the unused stables. She had something behind the gate of a rear stall. He approached quickly, for his curiosity and sense of wonder would not be lost as the townsfolk; washed away with the rain. Every new experience was to be treasured, sought after. Even coming to this town many years ago, he knew it was his destiny. He felt compassion for the people and their loss of flavor in their lives. He sensed something wonderful was going to happen someday in this town, and he stayed. He made his way to the dim corner and saw something undefinable. It had an unreal quality about it. The thing standing before him, looking down on him, was fashioned in such a way that he couldn’t really see. It was outlined in such a way that as it turned, the lines defining it outer edge moved. The viewers eye constantly caught a black edge on the creatures surface. It was a rough line, made as with a child’s hand. The creature had a mouth oddly shaped. There were no lips on a flat surface, but… drawings of teeth and a tongue came out of the area, all with that same dark outline. It was tan. It had a large, round body and it’s neck came out from the front center and ended at a barrel-like head. The eyes popped out of the top, wide and blank, staring at everything with a small black dot as it’s pupil. It spoke. “Sshparklethresshh,” it seemed to say as it’s tongue got in the way. It said it over and over again. Muriel’s father stared with wonder, a slight grin turned up on his face. He knew that the creature should evoke fear or disgust, but he felt nothing but joy and wonder when looking into the creature’s eyes. He knew that if anyone chose to look at this creature they would feel the same. He knew this inherently, just as he knew that those who looked at it had to do so willingly and most would choose not to look. Most would probably not even see it. He knew that if he dragged one of the townsfolk in here, kicking and screaming, they would frantically look around, claim to see nothing and run out as fast as they could.

He looked down at his daughter seeing a knowing look and grand smile in her face. They knew whatever he had chosen to stay here for, had begun this day. He heard a crack and a squeal behind him and turned to see the old woman come in, her body untwisting before him as she set her eyes on the creature.

The Gray Ooze

The gray ooze filtered its way to the surface. As it pushed itself up from some unknown depth separated and filthy with leaves and dirt and all sorts of clinging detrius, it collected into a single form, indistinct, hazy. The stuff sticking to its surface began to melt into the shape, turning gray as it dissolved. It stopped, trembled and began leaning different ways, seemingly spinning from its center mass, as if searching for something. It leaned extraordinarily, the 6-foot tall 3-foot wide semi-cylindrical form balancing precariously on some force then suddenly dropped. It formed a ball and rolled away, determined and dreadful in its new found cause. Quick was the trail it blazed as the new form did not have a sticky like surface, but rubbery, and light; almost as if it didn’t touch the ground because the things it passed over were not effected by any breeze it may have created, nor weight it could have used to smash things in its path. It swerved easily past trees as if eyes were part of this things biology. Soon it came to roads, and trimmed lawns and cement paths. Then came children on bikes or walking and people in cars or people holding green hoses. But the passing of the gray ooze was hardly noted. They may have told you that something caught in the edge of their vision and as they turned to look, to get a more fuller vision, it was gone. Few felt this sensation, and those that did would say that relief came upon them as it went by, not being able to fully define the way their breath came out hushed, to not gain attention. Suddenly it stopped. At the front area of a single home, behind a car, and not a tremble or a tittle crossed its surface. It had its goal set. A man walked out of the front door, stooped and his feet dragged upon the steps he came down. Making his way to the car the ooze was behind, he stopped and looked at the ooze, though he did not see it. A resistance came over him briefly, than acceptance. His shoulders drooped lower, his eyes further downcast, feet heavier than ever, he moved; determined to accept what would come his way because it was destiny. No need to fight here. It never worked anyway. He opened the door to the car, sickened by the mechanical sound of metal sliding past metal and plastic; the solidity of modern society, so firm and fluid. It made him angry and then sad. He touched the rubber and the metal of the door trim, and wanted to cast it from him, but it melded with his hand; so firm, so fluid. He reached out to the fabric, fabric formed over a metal and foam frame that fit his so rightly it stirred the bile building from acid and toast and jelly. Feet shuffle, hips jutting, he purloined himself to the fabric upon fabric sound and feel against his skin as he lowered himself into the bucket that held him as modern machine ferried him to dread and disillusionment of the day. In all this the ooze did not move. It bated its time; slightly moving forward, but then back as an unknown force held it, knowing that man must come to it at this point. The man was now seated, his key in his hand. All of this, all this shape, and sound, and feel got his dander up a bit, but his giving in took over any feeling of rebellion. All the round and curved and bumpiness of the things surrounding him hurt him. His skin was reacting to all the brushing and prodding, wanting to pull away from everything. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the sound of the starting of the car, thinking that closing his eyes could shut out the sound or reaction to it. It began as he turned the key and the car seemed to say brrrriiiiiieeeeffffffffff, hasty, hasty, hasty, hasty, hasty… It spoke to him the joylessness of his life. No, of his job. His job that took over all aspects of everything that brought him joy. Corn and stage and step and trail. Road and wheel and smoke and blade. Screen and hammer and wax and paper. A cavalcade of culture swam through his mind that met when his key flipped a switch that started a spark that moved through the car, that roared of potential all gone in a trail of paper marked with numbers. He reached helplessly, pulled forward the lever and down, until line met R. He was in automatic mode now. The same hand lifted and grasped the top of the other bucket of seat as he turned to face what was behind him… always behind him, let his feet of the pedal and drifted back towards the ooze. It trembled and rippled. As bumper met gray, it slowly disappeared inside the car until the man fully backed into it and it was gone; completely inside the car and now formed into a humanoid like shape next to the man, his hand brushing the ooze as it reached back to the lever and moved it to D. As his foot moved to the longer pedal, he glanced sideways at his guest he couldn’t see, but had surely invited by joining the culture ordinary, same, boring, and he whispered, “I hate you.”

Memes That Make Me Go, “Huh?” 21

It has been about 6 weeks since I’ve posted a “Huh?” post, and I have been saving them in a little folder on this here computational device. Given that I unfollowed some folks whose posts were a little too, too, I am a bit unfurled at the amount I’ve accumulated. It was hard to find these and some of them might not be on par with how awesome I am at the comments and the words I usually parley on about, but, they were there and here I go. (Does I even know some of the meanings of the words here… I’m jus’ goofing.)

I find this little tidbit amazing because of the fact that I’m not sure if the poster is saying this in pride or to generate some sort of doubt within others. “Oh my goodness, nows I not so sure if I’ma baptized correctly. I been only baptized in the Son’s name. I may be in the dangers of the fires of hell. I better get on down to church and cover my baptism in Father and Spirit.” Um, all joking aside I know this is some serious business. So serious in fact, that it probably shouldn’t be castigated out to the general audience of facebook.

Thanks “Country Thang” for making this little known thing about them women who fish and pee in the woods. And thanks to the poster who shared it, making me wonder just how close they come to admiring those women as they perform both acts… Sorry.

These types of “pictures” that are shared generate in me some of the reason I do this. So many words… so little thought… Ack! It irks me so when people do this. It is not his proposals it is his communication! Every time I hear a bit from him played my head literally explodes and I have to put it all back together. If he was who he was and could communicate as an authentic human being, with grace and aplomb I’d consider him a bit more carefully. If you know me and have read anything I’ve posted you know where I stand. Although, perhaps I need to have a bit more grace for my “friends” who post this. Things are a bit… difficult in this day and age to remember the grace we are to show with the grace we’ve been given.

It is a different world, isn’t it? Well, I ain’t no expert, but I think he was always a Republican… maybe I heard he was a Whig(?). There might have been more parties, but whatever. Different world.

That is great! I appreciate this jousting at joking so obvious. I, myself, am a bit more dry, shall we say. There you go though.

Maybe with the unfollowing of the usual suspects, we get this kind of stuff. Simple puns and photos. Classic.

I never looked at the comments or looked up the right answer(s) to this perplexing thing with the crying faces that have become common, but, it seems, that there are no squares in this at all. Am I right, or am I right, or am I right? Uh oh, I seem to be getting as negative as the last time. Let’s hope the next one is more… humerus!

Is somebody checking up on these people who needs to be buying tacos for… you? This makes no sense. Wouldn’t the game be more “fun” if when you started typing that is the person you’re buying tacos for? “Hello? Martin? You need to buy me some tacos. And not just some stupid Taco Bell tacos, but those kind you can only get at those food carts, where they call them “carne”. Yeah, pick me up, and buy me tacos. I’ll be waiting.”

This one is funny. I like that someone thought of this. Very funny. I’m just gonna keep typing here. Yeah, Keith Richards is going to live forever. Hilarious. Can you see how much fun I’m having?

Okay… but if you like them so much, why not just do it now? It can’t be that expensive. Probably not more than a hundred bucks or so if you buy in bulk?

So a flaming unicorn had to come and tell us this in front of an Anarcho-Syndicalism flag. Yep, I looked it up. And boy, are these people getting their message across.

Okay, I get it. My kids were homeschooled. So, you gotta use the phrase, “Be Like:” That so takes away what you gotta say. It’s like saying “René Vilatte be like: I don’t fit well within the Catholic Church, ’cause they don’t fit in well with me.”

I hoped this was sarcasm but I really doubt it. They might think this is a great time to be alive because your cookie doesn’t fall apart before that magic moment when they are moist enough but not too moist. Yeah, I guess I get this… but, ugh, facebook.

There is something going on here I don’t know about. But, I couldn’t care less. That’s right; my care about this has hit bottom… Oh, wait. I saved, posted and commented about this. So, I guess I care. A little.

Okay, hold up there John Grisham; republicans will have a stroke after seeing this??? I know you have a callous view of republicans, which is why I appreciate your friendship, but… wait. You’re kidding right? I don’t consider myself a republican, at least not since about 2008 or more, but your provocative image will not gain you any girlfriends. Ha. You hear that John? No, girlfriends. Wait, I’m sorry John. Come back! I don’t know what I’ll do without a close communist friend like you! Give me a second chance. We all need people in our life who challenge us. Maybe I just felt we were getting too close, and I was trying to drive you away. My brain is weird like that. Can you forgive me please? Whew… Thanks friend. I knew you were of the forgiving type. Just ease up on what may or may not give those poor republicans a stroke. They’re having a bad year.

Interesting choices here. Plain font. High contrast lonely tree photo. Shocking juxtaposition. Thank you “Matapropos,” thank you.

Really? Do I have to say ANYTHING about this?

Keanu? You came out of hiding just to get this picture taken and get these words posted on it? I believe Keanu. I believe you because of this single picture. But don’t you realize that every “system” will eventually become that, “system”? It is not the system, it is the people, more specifically, the sinners, of which we all are, who are the problem. Sorry, oh so serious Keanu. Sorry.

Sponge Bob is everywhere. And I usually get what the square one is telling me… but, HUH?

Who is this guy? I really hope… Oh, I don’t know what I hope. That this is seriously serious. And should be potentially relayed by some other means. Maybe someone will get it. I hope we all will. We all have a story, don’t we?

This is like the “Be Like:” garbage up above. With all these political things going on right now, all I hear is the Wicked Witch melting and saying, “What a world! What a world…”

Why? If this was me, and I was that passionate about pineapples on pizza, I’d be like (tee-hee) typing on that one site, “I like pineapples on pizza even if you might not. So there.”

Memes That Make Me Go, “Huh?” 20

Well my friend, we may be nearing the end of this social experiment where I take all the memes from my that one site news feed that immediately go, “Huh?” This last week or two has never left me so depressed as I have been seeing all the memes that are pushing the limit of common sense. The overarching sense I got from friend’s meme posting was innocent anger or weird encouragement. One thing I truly found interesting was a man who is a Trump supporter, publicly announced he was leaving that one site for a while several months back. He said he couldn’t take the hate. He didn’t stay away for long and soon was posting his weird Trump support stuff, although it became more bash Hillary type stuff. Anyway, this man and one other who is meme comedy gold for me shared the same picture one day that came on my feed. It was a pic of our current president and said something like… “Like or share if you agree we need to get rid of this piece of s***.” And that last word coming in my feed pops up occasionally and I usually hide it and that’s that. But this disturbed me more than I can tell you. How can two people who seem to have a good sense of love, (it is a benefit of the doubt thing) and are calling on justice, peace and rightness in this whole racism thing share this pic? I have since ignored them both. Needless to say, the meme factory is a little dry, except for the ones that make sense regarding this whole issue of black lives, cop killing, and the value of life. I constantly debate within myself whether to stay serious and call out the truth of what is going on or put on a funny face and make fun of what is funny. I guess it is a balance of life. Well, 20 is a nice round number and if there isn’t any original memes that come through and still make me go, “Huh?” this may be it folks. You never know… On with the memes.

That last statement about getting the least likes seems a little pessimistic, maybe that is why the guy is drinking. I don’t know who posted this and it does make me sad that perhaps they have felt the dissolving effects of alcohol. Uh oh, this episode is not starting out very funny Mark, you better turn that frown upside-down!

I am so happy we have two great candidates this year! I think I may have told you before… I like the one that will end it sooner rather than later. But I can’t decide. Plus, why so serious meme poster? Meh. Whatever.

That is great! There is so much that makes you laugh now-a-days… Wait a second. I am thinking about something that makes me laugh: Brian Regan! I am going to post this little thing he does that I have heard several times and it still makes me laugh. Don’t worry Brian, Brian is a “clean” comic.

So, is this person saying they can’t control this beautiful beetle? I actually really love this picture. In fact, if I could find it I’d put it as my phone’s wallpaper. But the saying… What does it all mean? Are you going out because the things you can’t control becoming too overwhelming? Again, this saying might fit best if some guy was sitting against a wall with his face in his hands, or the lady on the bench in the middle of a shallow lake.

First off, I gotta wonder if Jodie Foster really said this. Second, what in the world do people think it means when they talk about the “hoarding of wealth”? Now, Jodie, if, in fact you really did say this, what are you doing to be part of the solution that maybe, perhaps you see? Hold on a second, I’m going to go online and check a few statistics…: Well, according to this source here, and here, she is worth about $100 million dollars. Is that amount worthy of being called “hoarding”? I know, let us give Jodie the benefit of the doubt, (because we like to do that). Let’s see about her charities…: Okay, one of the first I saw was an article about her donation to a gay suicide prevention hotline. The goal of this charity was to raise one million dollars. It says in the article that the amount was not revealed, but I would think that $100 million net worth could do a fair bit, if indeed the charity is worthy. Anyway, here is a site that lists all celebrities charity, and Jodie does her fair share, I suppose since amounts are not reported, to 5 different charities: Clothes Off Our Backs – which sells celebrity clothes and gives the money to children’s charities, (doesn’t say which). GO Campaign – This is another vague charity for orphans this time, and donates to “grass root” organizations that help them, hmmmm… National Alliance of Mental Illness – Dedicated to the eradication of mental illness; not sure where this money goes, but, “eradication” is a high standard. Small Steps Project – This one is the first to be a bit more specific. It talks about those children living in trash dumps, and educates people about their plight through film, but also donates much needed hygiene kits and emergency aid. St. Francis Food Pantries and Shelters – Food and shelter and necessity donations for the needy in New York. Okay, now that we’ve seen all this what are we to do with the quote? I guess what she is saying, if she said this, is that if the rich used their wealth to help rather than keep, that would be best? Of course it would, but does she realize that many of her peers are just the people she may be talking about? I hope she does. And cheers to you Jodie Foster; someone made a meme out of a line we can neither confirm nor deny… wait, we have the interwebs. Hold on… Meh, still not sure, because all I can find is the story about this meme.

This is like a stick shrouded in a jacket and a cap propped at just the right jaunty angle. Okay, that is the only thing I got.

From this photo, you can tell that Hillary is a demon. It is stuff just like this that has had me sighing all these last weeks… sigh.

I had a few of these, “Isn’t remembering the good times better than thinking about the present,” memes last time, but this one has a funny twist. Look at the button. It isn’t just a, “Who had one of these?” memes, but it attacks Hillary because it is about guns. Isn’t that Hillarious?

Yeah, think about it.

The end, and sorry that I didn’t re-meme anything this time. It just wasn’t in me.

Memes That Make Me Go, “Huh?” 19

With the last episodes glut of weary Christian memes, some of you might think that I don’t appreciate the encouraging word here and there. I do, I do. It is just that I like to make fun of all this stuff once in a while. I like to propagate the idea that Christians can laugh at themselves, even though I believe that most of us cannot. Which is sad. But, that doesn’t stop me and I hope that you can laugh at yourself too. I am so sick of this culture of being offended that this is my little piece of battleground I like to stand in. So, if you’re easily offended, get over it! Lighten up. Let the ignorant liberals have their offended parties and let us enjoy ourselves once in a while. Here it is, once again, because they keep on coming, straight off my one site news feed: Memes that make me go, “Huh?”

Why is it that we are afraid to post this? This meme is all sorts of weird: you got your neon birds, your triple-heart, your butterflies all over, and a halofied pic of Christ, and then there is the year. They have the year on this one. Why? And then it says “I support,” like we’re voting for him in 2016. They support JC, and then, as if in contrast, they also say they love God. Like His running mate or what? People who make these, or at least this one, need a new hobby.

There have been a few people lately that I know that have died, and someone who knows one of them tagged the friend that died whilst posting this picture. It is not bad per se, but all they did was share this picture from the original poster who is named at the bottom: Psychic Medium Michelle somebody or other. If I liked this picture when someone close to me had died I wouldn’t just share it from miss Psychic Medium lady. Obviously, because I don’t like this saying and I definitely don’t like Miss Medium. At least save the pic, crop off the bottom and then repost. Time for a rememing.

Excellent!

Some friends and I had a discussion last week about all these memes commanding us to type amen, because you’re a scared little girly man. One of them is an agnostic who apparently has a lot of Christian friends who posts this stuff all the time. The comment I was going to say when he posted this to my wall is, “Why is Spongebob searching through the Bible for that? Is he really looking through a Bible?”

This one didn’t say it in the picture but there was a command for you to comment “Lucky” and you would receive money. Can you imagine the amount of comments that was on there?! It was ridiculous. And the only way it came on my feed is because a Christian friend of mine commented on it. Can you guess what he said? Yup, he said, “Lucky.” Is this supposed to be some kind of miracle, magical blessing? I guess as long as this world keeps spinning we’ll always have those who prey on the gullible, and we’ll always have the gullible.

This totally made me go, “Huh?” I mean it shouts all sorts of confusing messages. I don’t know how it got into my feed, but how did this make it into anybody’s feed? Lame joke, cop, trucker, and Mt. Rushmore… Huh?

Here is another one we discussed that night, and these are popping up all over the place. Do people really think that somehow facebook has done some programming that would effect some anguish inducing… something? And the likes and comments this gets, with people commenting, “Jump.” “Oooo! I want to see guy get eaten by shark, I will like and comment. Wait a second. Nothing happened. Oh, I see, I didn’t type Jump with a capital J. Let’s try again. Um, still nothing. Darn it, maybe I have to hit like and then type it correctly. Nope, still nothing. Wait, let’s refresh the page and try again. Still no guy getting eaten by shark. I’ll close the browser this time. Get it back up and walla! Wait. Did it move? Maybe I moved the mouse and it didn’t work. Let me make sure I don’t touch the mouse after I type Jump. Still didn’t work…” and on, and on, and on…

Because you pushed them off of a cliff into the ocean to their deaths. So, once again, don’t stress, you’ve already killed them.

These statistics seem a little off especially since I remember seeing a picture of a tweet from Neil deGrasse Tyson about gun violence:

But, tomato, tomata. I guess these gun wars will continue to be a battle ground for deaths to come…

Why would anyone think this would make a good pic for this comment?! What struggles? What mistakes? What pain does rose sniffing skeletons suffer from? I predict that this meme collection of mine will soon make me completely insane. I mean there is so many pictures of sad men leaning against walls that would have worked perfectly for this. Or the lady at the lonely bench. Or the guy on the beach. Or the forlorn looking teen sitting on their bed. What in god’s name is a rose skeleton have to do with any of this???

“Nice graphic UncensoredToons,” he said sarcastically.

Then why are you even trying stereotypical doctor and nurse? Maybe someone just photoshopped that sentence on their sign that originally said, “We would rather see you die anyway.”

Is she struggling? Or is she recalling the struggle that was oh so beautiful? She doesn’t look like she’s struggling. Wait, maybe she is finding it hard to put on her clothes. They aren’t fitting that great anyway. Oh, wait again. She is struggling because her clothes don’t fit as well as she hoped, especially on the beach. Anyway, hopefully that guy in the back is coming up to slap some sense into this woman.

Do you see those words above the “amen”? They say Minister Coco. Hold on, I’m going to google that name. Oh my goodness! I just say this lady’s instagram account and it is chock full of memes that need to be made fun of! Why am I not seeing more of her? It is meme comedy gold!

Here are a few more of Minister Coco’s stuff.

Wow! Aren’t they great! I hope she has a sense of humor. Anyway, I think the first one I posted that started this all is crap. I remember an independent baptist church near where I worked at Kinko’s had stealth evangelists. They were always leaving tracts at the counter and we found them when they were gone. I think there may be a minuscule percentage of people who get Jesus from tracts left on counters or these stupid pictures posted on walls… but, either way it is lazy evangelism. Get over it.

Yay! The new meme master: Olaf. He didn’t care what others thought. I don’t think he even thought.

What is freedom? People have a skewed view of what freedom is I think. Today’s youth are especially susceptible to the idea that freedom means we can do what ever we want. They can’t even comprehend that your freedom may contradict mine… But, still some truth in this, even though the skull thing is weird… again.

Wow. Is this photoshop? ‘Cause that is Michael Jordan is it not? Poor guy. How can you cry in a bed like that? Okay, read the message slowly to yourself now… I’ll wait. Isn’t that great!?

Memes That Make Me Go, “Huh?” 18

And now, once again, it is time for the 18th round of the most confusing memes that show up on that one site’s news feed.

Check. Check. Check. Check. Check, aaannnnddd, check. But Daystaaaaarrrr, nothing is still happening.

This episode of “Huh?” will seem to be filled with all kinds of Christian memes, as we seem to be panicking(?) by the way the world is working out, and that one site is the greatest place to show your encouragement. This poster didn’t seem to see the irony in this meme, so let me point it out. Lions were a kind of weapon used against, and successfully I might say, Christians. They ate ’em. Ripped ’em up and kilt them. Irony.

In our panic about the future, the other memes that seem to be so prevalent is the “Remember These?” type. We either gotta do the encouraging thing or try to make each other forget about the future. So make sure that your wall is filled with all this stuff to make sure we forget about the world for a while.

Whoa! I don’t know what news story prompted this call to legalize throat punches to idiots, but calm down. And do these guys know their service to this country is now used in creating memes.

Yup. So follow Linus’ example, because cartoon characters make the best.

Ha!

Here is poor Kermit again, being used for your stupid little thoughts… it is kind of ironic, is it not?

I went back to Utah a couple of weekends ago, and… I… loved it! We even came back down to I-70 and touched Southern Utah. Oh how I missed the mountains, and the DRY HEAT. I have hardly begun to be acclimated to this Missouri humidity. So, this meme is a little wrong and the person hasn’t ever experienced both.

Ugh. I hate this stuff. Why do people insist on turning every mediocre thing that dazzles them in even the slightest towards the word “Porn”? Space Porn. Word Porn. Food Porn. Why? Even this nice little word pile has gotten all dirty from the adjective involved. I guess it won’t be long until someone posts a bible verse and at the bottom it’ll say “Gospel Porn.” I don’t know. Maybe I’m a prude. Yes, that is it. I’m a prude.

Ah, the memories.

Oh my, Monkey Bologna! This is just… I’m suffering a little Deja Vu here. Anyway, yes, just keep focused, because it is All ABOUT to HAPPEN! You’ve almost won the prayerathon. A prayer is a wish come true. (You gotta sing that last line.)

Yeah, because it was only 13 years ago. Time for a rememing!

This movie was made in 1917. That was only 99 years ago. There has got to be someone on that one site who remembers watching Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. Oh the memories. Thanks again facebook from distracting us from the horrors of this world.

I saw this one and it made me really go “Huh?” Like, are we bragging here? Living here has made me really start hating buffets, and now I got someone bragging about their funky food balancing skills and then they’re gonna go and eat all that. No, sir. Do not want. Do not want at all.

Oh, yeah! I was going to rememe this one too! Wait a sec.

There. Kind of makes you think of other memes we’ve seen today. Oh, man; All the “good” things God has got in store for us… Aaaahhhhhh……..

This was posted by a person whose spouse is gone to Atlanta, to a classic education conference along with 18 other people, including my wife. But let me just tell you: this is not me.

“My head hurts as I walk on this beach. And why are all these words following me?”

Memes That Make Me Go, “Huh?” 17

Whoa! It has been a while has it not? I posted all these pics in a draft way back in May and have never gotten back to it, so I may not understand my thinking in why I got all these, but, here we go.

How sad for you… Poor, poor miserable you. I wish I could remember who posted this so I could smack them upside the head.

“A thoughtless voice,” you say? It makes it almost appear ghostly, like the poor kid imagines someone saying that phrase… And really? Someone actually would say that at a little league game? I haven’t been to a little league baseball game in a long time, but I can hardly imagine someone crying out that. To me that is some liberals dream about illogical compassion and not allowing anything bad or confusing happening to our children so they can grow up unhurt and unscathed: a machine that has not learned to cope with the world and explodes the first time it experiences the real, real world.

And if you don’t share it, you don’t love your son.

Sorry, I know you’ve heard it all before. It is time for a rememeing.

Nicely done Mark, nicely done.

No, I’m too embarrassed for you in thinking that Obi-Wan Kenobi is Jesus. *The most humongous eye-roll ever*

I am not sure what I initially thought of this one… but it is very dramatic, is it not?

This one is just oh, so sickening to me. What an idiot that man is. No ethereal, ghost of a woman would make me walk on a knife blade, just to make her HAPPY! Happy! If your man is doing this to keep you happy, you have a darned unhealthy relationship, and it is starting to make me literally sick. So let’s move on…

This one just really, really made me go “Huh?” It is why I started this series. Why is the lady from one of those one movies and crazy hockey man having an argument in different lens filters? And then the argument doesn’t even make sense.

Yeah! So make sure you stare at the sun through your fingers when you make all those selfish decisions.

Yeah! Like how did I get in the middle of this dark body of water sitting in this chair? Now that is one hard battle.

I don’t get it… but, I suspect it has something to do with a space cowboy? Maybe?

Oh man! Here is another one of those disturbing Mother sacrifice things that make me wonder if they are both dead. So very creepy.

Wow! No comment except for, “Huh?”

“And with this limited time offer, if you Like it as well, you’ll get a weekly picture to post for other people to receive Jesus as Lord and Savior. Yes folks, if only the founding Church fathers had the interwebs, there would have been double, no triple, no quadruple the amount of people saved by writing amen on the comments. What a deal!”