Strange Confessions Transfers, Part 1

I will now begin the transfer away from that one site by beginning to copy all the posts here, and delete them there. Following is the first few original posts to keep in posterity, along with the dates posted. The first Strange Confessions were done every day for a week. I started with the original, found it comical and challenged myself to write one every day.

May 17, 2012 – Strange Confessions: When I have embarked on an elevator all by myself, I do several roundhouse kicks to the corners to make sure no one invisible got on with me.

May 18, 2012 – Strange Confessions: I have three songs on my ipod by Captain & Tennille: “Love Will Keep us together” “Shop Around” and “Do That to Me One More Time”, and I don’t see myself removing them anytime in the future.

May 19, 2012 – Strange Confessions: I feel strongly compelled to share dreams that I feel have a deep meaning. Like last night when I dreamed I was walking around my childhood neighborhood when my cell phone says in it’s digital female voice, “Call from, Papa.” I fumbled for the phone almost dropped it and kept pressing the wrong buttons. When I finally answered it, my Papa voice was strong and healthy, and he was asking me whether or not I had “found it”. I didn’t really listen to what he was saying because I was so amazed to receive a call from my deceased Grandpa. I started getting really emotional and cried so much I could hardly speak. When I finally gained control, I asked him where he was and how he was doing. All I heard was him breathing; he said nothing else.

May 20, 2012 – Strange Confessions: Even at 6 years old I passionately hated superhero costumes. Not that I didn’t want to dress up as Spider-Man, but I found it so stupid that he would wear a t-shirt of himself. I found myself in a 6 year old rage saying, “Why would Spider-Man or Superman or Batman wear a picture of themselves on their shirt?!”

May 21, 2012 – Strange Confessions: When I became interested in girls, there was one in particular I wanted to talk to. But, what do you talk about with girls? And, how do you keep them interested? Well, I wrote down a bunch of things I thought a girl would be interested in, and kept it as a cheat sheet in our phone conversation. The whole list I forgot except one item: Do you watch “Casper the Friendly Ghost”? I figured that would be a great conversation starter. It turned out not to be and after our short conversation, she had to go, I found out my brother was listening. He made fun of me endlessly. “Casper the Friendly Ghost!? What a dolt, what a maroon!” he say at me laughing all the while. It was horrendously embarrassing. So, if you talk to me now on the phone, I either get right to the point, or there are some amazing pregnant pauses in which I am wondering if I should bring up Casper the Friendly Ghost. Ironically, my sister is married to this girl’s brother now. I bet she still recalls the most interesting phone conversation ever, and regrets letting that man go.

May 22, 2012 – Strange Confessions: We all had people we wanted to be when we were younger. I wanted to be Ernest Hemingway. In my mind he was the epitome of cool, I guess. I read The Old Man and the Sea when I was in grade school and The Sun Also Rises later on. I even have a thoughtful picture of me with his statue up in Sun Valley, Idaho. Then I learned he committed suicide. How can we idolize someone who commits suicide? “Yea! The greatest guy in the world was too cowardly to face it.” Hmm… I have a more brave idol now. Someone I want to be like everyday. He faced death with nary a protest. Knew He came to face a death so awful and painful and only once asked it to be taken from Him. My God, my Savior, Jesus Christ.

May 23, 2012 – Strange Confessions: I once entered a Sports Illustrated sweepstakes where the grand prize was a new convertible Ford Mustang. The entry actually said, “No Purchase Necessary.” I thought the deal was just incredible! Just fill out these papers and win a brand new car. The only problem was that I was responsible for the tax. I don’t even think I was driving yet and I didn’t have a job. I had to figure out what the tax was for the car and how to get the money. Well, I was standing on the corner of 3900 South and 700 East waiting for a bus, when a smooth lookin’ dude came driving up in the exact car I was about to win, and had to stop at the light. This was my opportunity to find out how much the tax was going to be on this thing. So here I am, 14 year old geek sauntering up to the smooth 80s cat in the convertible saying, “Hey that’s a nice car. How much is tax on that?” Can you imagine it? You’re some smooth 80s cat on the way to the local disco when some geek kid comes up asking about the tax on the cherry ride you’re toting. He kind of glanced over at me, laughed and took off when the light changed. “Dang! How am I going to figure this out?” Time was running out. It would be just 3-6 months before they announced that I had won. Well, the time passed and no announcement came. Can you imagine my disappointment and relief? Whew, I got out of that one. I didn’t have to pay any tax. I just bet that the letter telling me I was the winner is still in some post office somewhere stuck under some shelves. Oh, and by the way I just like saying, “smooth 80s cat”. You should try it.


Posted on August 19, 2014, in Strange Confessions. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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