The Dumbest Survey
I came across this article the other day. If you take this “quiz” you may find yourself surprised at where you fall in the conservative/liberal scale: because, this is the stupidest survey. Here are the questions with the answers being: StronglyDisagree, ModeratelyDisagree, SlightlyDisagree, SlightlyAgree, ModeratelyAgree, StronglyAgree, unless otherwise noted.
- I prefer cats to dogs.
- I prefer watching documentaries to action/adventure movies.
- Respect for authority is something all children need to learn.
- I keep my desk and other workspaces very neat and organized.
- I believe that self-expression is more important than self-control.
- If I heard that a new restaurant in my neighborhood blended the cuisines of two very different cultures, that would make me want to try it.
- My government should treat lives of its citizens as being much more valuable than lives in other countries.
- If I were married or in a serious dating relationship, I would think it is perfectly OK for my partner to look at erotic or pornographic pictures or videos, by himself/herself.
- The Internet browser I most often use is (Chrome, Firefox, InternetExplorer, Safari, Other/ Don’t know)
- I wish the world did not have nations or borders and we were all part of one big group.
- If I were to visit New York City, I would rather go to Times Square than the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
- I am proud of my country’s history.
My results were: You’re 37% conservative, 63% liberal. I don’t know specifically how it reached these numbers, but I suppose some questions were more weighted than others and it depended on your slight or strong feelings on the matter.
Here are the reasons it put me in the liberal side of things:
- You prefer documentaries over action movies
- You like fusion cuisine
- You use a modern browser
- You wish there were no countries
- You prefer the Met to Times Square
And here are the conservative reasons:
- You like dogs more than cats
- You think kids should respect authority
- You like a neat desk
- You think self-control trumps self-expression
- You think the government should treat the lives of its citizens as much more valuable than those of other countries
- You don’t think your partner should be looking at porn alone
- You’re proud of your country’s history
I am going to address my liberal qualities first:
I slightly agreed that I would prefer watching documentaries than action movies, because I suppose I like to learn about nature, science and some social/cultural things than shutting off my mind. Now I’m assuming since almost all documentaries are made from a liberal point of view that they would think liberals prefer this, and that is true, especially lately with nature shows. It always ends up that man is destroying everything beautiful and natural. Making action movie the conservative option is just ridiculous. They could have just said fictional film. But, I suppose conservatives are just knuckle dragging idiots who don’t like learning or being open-minded. (By the way, I hate the phrase, “be more open-minded”. Like the person who is closed-minded haven’t considered other options.)
I moderately agreed that I would try fusion cuisine, and that is a liberal quality. Of course conservatives hate trying new things, especially when it comes to food. Living where I am right now, in a desert of good eating, has made me truly appreciate good food and if a fusion restaurant had a great reputation and reviews for good food, as well as being affordable, obviously I would try it. I also assume “fusion” restaurants to be more on the expensive side, which of course liberals like to spend more at restaurants than a conservative.
I am using Chrome right now, so of course that makes me more liberal… What!? I just don’t get this one, so no real commentary.
I strongly agreed that I wish there were no countries. If we got right down to the heart of this question, don’t we all wish we could get along? Now if they stated, “I see a possibility of all the countries of the world becoming one in the future,” I would have strongly disagreed, and that would have made me more of a conservative, I assume. It seems this statement is designed to make the liberals feel good about the fact that they are the only ones who want world peace, and that conservatives thrive on war. There is a different between wanting world peace and knowing there is no chance of it ever occurring! I rarely comment on these types of things, but I did here, and of course I cracked myself up. Here is what I said: “Wow, I didn’t know liking documentaries, enjoying fusion cuisine, and desiring world peace were only qualities of a liberal! I’m so glad I know that now, so I can protest those restaurants that have one type of ethnic food as war mongering drool beasts!”
My final liberal quality was based on whether I wanted to visit Times Square or the Metropolitan Museum of Art; I said I Strongly Agreed to want to go to the Met. I can’t understand how this separates the liberals and conservatives, but here is what someone commented about this: “Why on earth would Times Square be considered conservative!?! It has a million flashing lights, the naked cowboy, MTV, and a history of being a place where strippers worked?” I probably wouldn’t mind seeing Times Square, but after seeing this guy’s comments I might not want to, and keep my kids away. Obviously, only liberals truly appreciate fine art.
Now for the conservative qualities:
I slightly agreed to liking dogs because they poop outside. I suppose the reason liberals like cats more is the study that people who like cats need to be less controlling. Okay… I kind of see that, maybe. Not!
I strongly agreed that kids should respect authority. So, is it true that liberals teach their kids to be snotty to those more experienced? Or is it the fact that conservatives teach their kids to never question authority. I believe this one is semantics too. The difference between respecting authority or never questioning it, and this one is in the conservatives favor! This should be whether or not kids should question authority. Of course liberals would believe that they are the only ones who teach their children to question what they are told and taught, and conservatives are hard-line, egotistical jerks that should never be questioned.
I slightly agreed to a neat and organized workspace… again, I don’t get it. Liberals are messy and have no need for structure and organization? Hmmmm….. seems fishy to me.
I slightly agreed to self-control over self-expression. I think that self-expression is best expressed when a person has enough sense and control to be able to say it well. The obvious statement is that conservatives are against people expressing themselves, that we should all be non-questioning conformists. I pray that I am raising my kids to question what they are taught and that they can express themselves in any way they can, in legal and modest ways. I believe that liberals might see conservatives as closing down all self-expression because that just leads to chaos, and I agree that there needs to be limits in self-expression. The world, if let alone without laws or morals, would become a confusing, chaotic mess of people expressing themselves in lots of filthy and depraved ways, and self-control is a great way to express one-self. This to me is one of the most controversial points of the whole “quiz”. This is such a complex issue that it should not be simplified to such a statement.
I slightly agreed that a government should be more concerned for its citizens rather than those of other countries. This is a no-brainer to me. I mean, really? Liberals would truly say that their own government should look out for citizens of other countries? I believe that if a country is strong enough, and had enough positive influence in the world, that it should concern itself with those of the world’s citizens as well, but not beyond those of its own. That is why I slightly agreed. Citizen’s safety is/should be of utmost importance to a governments’ concerns, but not other things that liberals believe a government should provide, which makes it confusing, especially in light of recent laws being enacted. To a liberal some of these things become a right that a government should enforce, but they never speak of it being forced on other worldly citizens. Very confusing option here.
I strongly believe your partner should not look at erotic things alone. I’m amazed that this is a question. Sure, maybe liberals are a bit more… liberal with their eroticism and what it has to do with their partners, but does that really separate us? If it does, than thank God. What in the world do liberals think about commitment, purity, faithfulness…? Oh, maybe I’m wrong in thinking that they may hold to a higher view of this. Okay, they can have it. Whatever. Woe to the world and where this question will/is leading us.
I am slightly proud of my country’s history. “What?” you say. Why am I not strongly proud of my country? I am, in the way that we have such freedom, thank God for that. But it is only these freedoms that is leading us back to what some of these questions have referenced: expressions in any way we want! Also, there is a lot to be ashamed of in this world. A friend recommended I read, “A People’s History of the United States” by Howard Zinn, and I didn’t finish it because it did look at the corruption of the history of many of those in authority, and it made me sick at how horrible we can be as a human race. But I, as a Christian, understand that more than other people understand. This world is sick and corrupt with sin. I can’t be “proud” of what horrors have been accomplished for freedom, but I am humbled that I have an opportunity to live in such freedom. Thank you God for the opportunities we have here in this country and the freedoms. I pray for those nations who do not. But at the same time, I know your people are thankful for the trials they suffer, and are more the stronger because of it. Thank you for both.
(Author’s note: Many statements in the preceding article are made in a sarcastic way. Please read with care.)