Strange Confessions: 3 Cigarettes, Part 2
Strange Confessions: My friend and I loved to fool a crowd… with cigarettes.
My parents both smoked when I was younger and in school we use to take these health/habit questionnaires, and it showed that 3 of the 4 of us, my brother and sisters, would smoke when we were older. I always hated cigarettes, I thought they were foul and disgusting and I always got a headache being around them. I believe my oldest sister thought the same. I’m not sure of my younger sister, although I believe she never took it up. Yet my brother did for a while. and, I’m proud of him: he stopped sometime around getting married.
Although my disgust for them was huge the opportunity for comedy overrode the disgust for a time. Which leads me to the second story. One of my friends in High School smoked and I would get all up in his face occasionally about it. We had decided it would be funny if we pretended not to know each other in a public place, such as a crowded bus stop… well anyway here is the story:
My friend was sitting at a crowded bus stop downtown, kicking back, enjoying his cigarette. I came up sat down beside him and started going into my rant about how horrible it was to smoke. “It makes your breath stink, yellows your teeth and fingers, the smoke not only hinders your immune system to fight common colds, but it gets everywhere. It’s in your clothes, in your hair, in the air. It offends people. It makes others sick, having to breathe in your stupid habit. It costs money that you could be using for good. Your taking minutes, days, years off your life every time you light one of those up. You start it with a fire, breathe this burning coal down into your lungs, where you need oxygen and you’re actually depleting your ability to get oxygen into your body.” I said this loudly enough for everyone else to hear, making large gestures with my arms to get peoples attention. My friend would just sit there listening, staring and smoking his stick. When I was apparently done he would take a big drag, look over at me, offer me the cigarette and ask, “So do you want a drag?” I paused for effect and said, “Sure.” Then I take it and smoke it. I wasn’t able to see anybody’s reaction to our little play, but I just imagined the shock and horror in their faces. We just had to keep ours straight.