Honest Relationships Part 1
Facebook. Yes. I said it. The word that has sickeningly bullied its way into our culture and language, and it makes me cringe every time I have to use it in a discussion. I’m sick of it. It just feeds my narcissistic side. But, I do like to see what’s going on, be available and share who I am. It’s just that, that one site is the worst way to do this for me. That’s why I blog now. Who cares if millions of people haven’t read or commented. But if I share my heart, to my 90+ “friends” of that one site, and get silence, it drives me crazy… well maybe some. I have funny little stories about how a friend posted this such and such a thing, got a million likes and a century’s worth of comments to go through, while my brilliant self, posts thoughtful garbage only to be silently dissed. But, I’m not going to. It’s been done so much it’s cliché now. Making a mockery of that one site whilst diddling your keyboard pleasurably about how long it’s been since you started putting up with your mate who is right next to you drooling over his new phone has become an all time favorite cultural pastime. For crying in the mud, I get it! You’d rather see me post other people’s creativity or funny snippets, or how much beer I’m going to drink or just that right now I need some real generic prayer, instead of the true me, the honest me. Sure, I did have my faithful supporters; kudos on them. They know me. And those others, maybe they know me but, that one site just doesn’t convey our whole neediness and the fulfillment therein. Really, it’s not that I needed that feedback, it’s just… they were/are the people in my life and if they just breeze on by what’s important to me, then is it really effective in connecting us all?
There is one behavior I like to share with people who really want to get to know me: When I was in college I had to walk this same route everyday and every other person who lived in the dorms I lived in walked this route too. The path was so beaten down you could have put a running hose on it and the water would not have been absorbed and traveled the whole path of the consistent walkers. However, I walked about three feet to the side of it and sway back and forth so that my way wouldn’t become a path well worn. If a bush came into my way I would to take a long way around it, just so I wouldn’t be in the path that so many others trod before me. I didn’t think myself philisophical or that I had some symbolic rebellion going on, it’s just that I didn’t want to travel the way everyone else did. It bugged me, made me gag.
I’m not an anarchist or this behavior doesn’t carry into all the aspects of my life. But this, truly this, is what I am… or at least try to be. I stand at a gathering and everyone’s head is down checking their status. Really? You can’t be in the moment? Just be, conntected to who you’re around… now? Yeah, I don’t have a cell phone. I did for a while. But, it just didn’t fit. I wasn’t always looking at it, nor did I share photos or ringtones or texts or statuses. Watching people do these things in a group bugs me, makes me gag.
That one site is a good idea. It really is. But like most human ideas, we turn it to poop. That’s what we did with that one site: turned it to poop. Sorry my Christian brothers and sisters for having to use such harsh and immature language. But how else can you describe an idea formed in the mind of an insecure, unsocial, genius, (if the movie is to be belived), to connect beer guzzling college kids, that eventually was released to more “mature” folks so that our voice could be heard through the “likes” of our fully sleeved wrists, and digital thumbs turned up so that some bratty kid can get his puppy? Really? This is our multi-million idea idol? Smarmy, curly headed, Mona Lisa smiling digital god? I scroll down the news feed of my life with glimpses of half-inspired quotes on sunsets or kitties, demands for comments and reposts, notices that that one guy has changed his profile picture again, and suggestions of products I should “like”. Don’t I like them already if I purchased them from the outlet of my choice? Sometimes scrolling down the news feed of my life bugs me, makes me gag.